#give it to god

well…I had the nerve conduction study today..and boy was it a shocker (literally) my body is still in trauma and pulsating…even though the doctor acknowledged that many times I had no feeling in my legs and feet when being shocked…he printed up a piece of paper and said the test says its normal…I mean is this what the world has come to? …. I asked the neurologist what was her explanation of my numbness, tingling, no feeling in my legs and feet etc…. she was so ditzy and out of touch that she evaded my question and just said through her thick accent that she could give me medication…I asked “how can you give me medication when you just said you don’t know what is wrong? …she just looked blank and said “Yea” Right?…well I can give you another MRI of the lower spine…” I just smiled and said “No doctor, that is ok…” you have done all you can do… she shook my hand and said “Good luck to you”

is this what has become of the medical profession…. these doctors who get paid thousands of dollars, go to school for 10+ years, and even though they blatantly see that you have a problem and something is wrong it all boils down to that the results on a piece of paper… does anyone utilize common sense? They base their diagnose on numbers and scores that are a bunch of statistics, population samples and normative scores… have they lost all touch with humanity that they base a patient’s life on the black and white ink on a piece of paper….can’t medical schools do better than that?

I mean at this point it is all laughable, I am not upset or frustrated…I am not depressed or mad… I have given it to God and will be anxious no more…. at this point what they say is asinine and I have officially appointed myself as my own doctor… I will do what is best for my health, I will be my own advocate…it has gotten me through this far and it will carry me through.. I will take other measures to get to the bottom of my illnesses. I am no longer afraid, Jehovah is on my side and I shall trust in him.

Everyone who is going through a difficult time, who cannot find the answers and feel like you have no where else to turn, look inside yourself and listen to the voice within….give the problem to Jehovah and he will help you find your way…if you believe in yourself and know what you want..he will make it happen..#stay triumphant and #keep the faith
 Much Love,
Calvin
Wishing everyone peace and low pain today!! 🙂
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#sleepy sunday

looking forward and not behind to the week ahead…more in depth post tomorrow about the results of my positivity project as I am too fatigued at this moment to type much more….the weather outside is crisp (chilly?) I do love fall, but as with most things, my body does not. I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend and that you were able to spend some time doing something that you enjoy… have a great evening and remember to #stay triumphant

#sweet lullaby

this feeling is too much to bear

sing a sweet lullaby to carry me there

one step closer to the early morn

I’ll stay triumphant sunset to dusk, no more concern

stand firm in my faith, I will not return

to that sad, dark, scary place consumed with gloom

safe haven awaits, this evil won’t consume

as the darkness will break, and the light will shine through

until tomorrow my friends…have a blessed night… #staytriumphant