# wednesday posting

sorry for my lack of meaningful posts this week…I have been in that not so positive dark place that is inevitable and inescapable no matter how hard you try…today I simply existed..to worn out and fatigued to be irritated by the incessant nerve pain…I woke up…I ate…I walked…but my heart wasn’t in any of it…my mood is low..and the cold Western NY air, lack of sunshine for the 5th consecutive day, and my homesickness are all contributing factors to my Blah factor…I won’t let this become a venting post…but on a positive note…I am grateful for my CBT (cognitive behavior therapist) he is truly the best and I feel represents my only non-judgmental human relationship with whom I can articulate my thoughts with words…he recommended that I see a psychiatrist… I finally feel at that place where I can’t improve and stabilize my mood with natural homeopathics alone as my chemical imbalance has become severe enough to merit synthetic intervention aka prescription medication…. I would write more about my thoughts on prescription meds ,my stance on their place in my life, and my decision to move forward with potential mind altering medication…but I will save that for another post…I am simply to tired and unmotivated to type any more…thank you for reading and have a blessed night….remember what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger even when we feel like we can take no more… # peace and love ….. #stay triumphant

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3 thoughts on “# wednesday posting

  1. Once upon a time, I was against medication. Mind over matter I told myself. My father and brother both are clinically diagnosed as bi-polar. I am clinically diagnosed with depression and anxiety. After years of battling both, I finally had to accept that these are legitimate physical impairments, chemical imbalances that no amount of positive thinking could “cure”. Yes, there are natural ways to try to combat them, but sometimes those don’t work well enough. It makes you no less of a person to have to have help keeping your brain regulated. If you had a heart problem that required a pacemaker, would you think twice about assisting your heart with doing it’s job? You have to take good care of yourself through whatever means it takes. You only have this one life. Live it as well as you can. 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your heartfelt and encouraging words. Yes,I continue to be amazed at the lessons I am learning along this long and winding journey called chronic illness. my lessons are sometimes as small as mustard seeds yet pack a huge punch…the stigma associated with mental and neurological malfunction keeps many of us living in fear…your words echo so true and I couldn’t agree more…

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