10 Positive Ways That Fibromyalgia Has Changed My Life in 2012

  1. Fibromyalgia has forced me to slow down, stop, and smell the roses. What I mean is, I have always been a driven individual. As far back as 12 years old I have had a job, worked, went to college, worked, bought a house, got my masters etc. I was used to being on the go, in the moment, on to the next venture, tackling the next challenge. Faster.Better. Stronger was the motto. All of this required energy, vigor, vitality and honestly, little sleep. In my quest to take over the world, I deprived and depleted my body of exercise, sleep, and rest. In the process,  I often took little to no time to stop and enjoy my accomplishments. All of this has changed. I can not longer run on air. I have had to learn how to slow down, pace myself, and literally STOP. My steps are more measured and for as much as this has depressed me, I find myself enjoying the silence and the many moments of solitude that I rarely used to have.
  2. Fibromyalgia has helped me to be happy with my imperfections, limitations and flaws. I am a perfectionist. I hate losing. I don’t take no for an answer. Well, let me rephrase that, I used to not take no for an answer. In the past year, I have had to learn that 100% is not always attainable, feasible, or doable. This is OK. I have had to learn that less is in fact best, and even when I don’t like to not be able to do something, I simply cannot do it and you know what? That is OK.
  3. Fibromyalgia has taught me how to use the word “NO”. The fact of the matter is, I am not every man. I am not SUPERman. I cannot do everything, I cannot help everyone. The word NO. is a complete sentence. It needs no further explanation, it doesn’t need a guilt trip, No is simply No. and now I know that “NO” is OK.
  4.  Fibromyalgia has given me the feeling of hitting rock bottom, so I know there is a Top. I have lived a pretty good life. I had a supportive family, never wanted for anything, everything I ever wanted I for the most part I received, and if not, I went out and worked for it and never had a problem attaining it. Fibromyalgia has helped me to appreciate that I can’t get everything, I don’t need everything, I won’t have everything. I will not die, I will suffer. I will be OK.
  5. Fibromyalgia has humbled me. The world does not revolve around me, there are many more people worse off than I am, having life is a blessing it in of itself. I am not the only person with problems in this world. This world is bigger than Me.
  6. Fibromyalgia has given me the gift of modesty. I am a human. I have limitations. I cannot do everything. I have boundaries. I need to realize them and remain in those parameters; drifting outside of those boundaries cause trouble and is immodest.
  7. Fibromyalgia has moved me to look at the small things. I now set teenie tiny goals, acts that once before seemed trivial, minute, now are mountains huge Olympian feats that make me smile. The sunshine, the wind against my skin, the squirrels in the yard, the colors of the houses on my block. All of  the small obscurities of life, I used to blow right by. Now I stop and take a look.
  8. Fibromyalgia has moved me to take nothing or no one for granted. Every single move that I make, action, breath, step, keystroke, shower, meal, glass of water is vital and to be appreciated. Nothing is worthless, because I now  know that I will miss it when it is gone.
  9. Fibromyalgia has given me patience. I used to hate waiting. I still do. In fact, my anxiety and worry feed off of my impatience. I wanted the world like yesterday and any time later was less than acceptable. I used to move fast , think fast, act fast, work fast and it usually worked in my favor. Now, not so much. Life doesn’t happen when I want it to. I can’t control the world. I can’t control my body. For some things, I just have to be patient.
  10. Fibromyalgia has made me a new man. As hard as I try to fight it and for as much as I didn’t want to admit, I am not the same man that I was on January 1, 2012. I am not the same man I was 6 months ago, six years ago. I have changed leaps and bounds literally, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. This is neither good nor bad. It just is. That is OK.
  11.  As a bonus, last but certainly not least, Fibromyalgia has enabled me to sincerely give my burdens to Jehovah God and not take it upon my soul to handle. God is greater than my heart.

So there it is. My list of 10. It was not as hard as I thought it would be; nor did it take as long as I thought it would. It is my sincere hope that you take time to compile your own list. It is truly amazing the things we begin to see when we change our perspective.

Here’s to a magnificent 2013 full of peaks and valleys and new perspectives!

Stay Triumphant,

Calvin

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# New Year

So, December 31st has arrived. The moment to stop, think, and reflect on one year’s closing and open the door to a new year. I have to say, my end of 2012 looks significantly different from my beginning. The last 12 months have been some of my most challenging, enthralling, frustrating, maddening, and challenging that I have experienced thus far in my adult life. There have been many moments of happiness, accomplishment and gratitude along with a dose of bleak realities, harsh conclusions, and sad endings.

When we begin one year we can never know the peaks and valleys that will outline the year’s journey.

We eye the year ahead with a sense of excitement and trepidation wishing we knew what lie ahead….all the while we plot and plan our course. I for one feel gratitude to be living in this moment….to have unfulfilled dreams that have yet to be realized and challenges that need to be tackled. As I close the the door to 2012, I have one hand firmly clasped on the door to 2013.

So, it comes as no surprise that I too have outlined the expected year end list. As I contemplated the feats or moments of my life that I wanted to list this year; a flush of emotions consumed me, the omnipresent lingering of my illness, the racing thoughts and feeling all came bursting forth like tidal waves; the sadness, despair, loneliness, and pain seemed to be top contenders.

Instead, I have chosen to focus on the positives. With a clear mind, open heart, and new perspective I have chosen to change my perception and focus my list on the benefits that Fibromyalgia and CFS have brought to my life over the past year. A daunting task I know….what could possibly be good about Fibromyalgia? As I pondered that question, the words twirling around and around in my head, I thought to one of my poems titled Deception…were I speak the line “your deception is my perception”.

Yes, how we choose to look at our life, the perspective that we choose to view an event has a great bearing on how we handle the various peaks and valleys on this road called life. As the saying goes, “there is always a silver lining to be found“..I challenged myself- as well as  YOU my readers to come up with TEN positives about Fibromyalgia and how they have affected your life. I can easily rattle off TEN negative things about my disease, diatribe for hours about how much it has taken away, how bad it is, how much it sucks, in fact, I do everyday….right here on this here blog. But what about the good that it has brought me. Isn’t there some good to be received from everything?

Optimists seem to think so. Those that look at the glass as half full and not the cynics like myself that see it as half empty. These optimists reshape their perspective of life, rebound, and bounce back from seemingly unconquerable odds. I want to be one of these people.

Call me crazy, naive, or foolish, but this challenge is vital for me as I embark on the new year, with a new mind, body, and perspective; begin to own my disease and not let it own me, and accept it in my life. I didn’t say it would be easy or fun, but it must be done. So without further adieu….

10 Positive Ways That Fibromyalgia Has Changed My Life in 2012

#sunrise Sunday

beautiful clear and sunny Nashville day….I can see it from my bedroom window….another day in this weeks long flare…pain is numbing and pounding in my mind….fatigued and feeling weighed down…on a good note I had the stamina to cook myself a homemade meal for the first time in weeks….emotionally feeling blah, drained and over it…no matter how much I try to push through the depression and low mood, being in constant pain and inflammation slowly wears away at my psyche and chips away my spirit…nothing new where that is concerned…..just another day in my life of living with fibromyalgia….that’s all I have, no spirit to blog today….#Happy Sunday

#ready set bed

Tranquility____Collab___by_freelancahall wrapped up, comforter down, socks out, and this camper is ready to hit the hay…all in all, today has been one of the better days I’ve had in weeks…and for once that’s saying a lot….if you are cold and feeling lonely tonight…mentally take your mind to a happier place in time…adorn yourself with those thoughts and wrap your soul with peace, love and joy…as always #stay triumphant

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#coldest winter ever?

Hidy Ho? Hidee Ho? HI D HO?  Oh, well you get what I trying to say…Hey folks….hoping that everyone is staying toasty on this blustery Saturday…Nashville isn’t so bad…(of course, I haven’t set foot outside in nearly 4 days so what do I know)…I do know that the rest of the country seems to be under the weather….literally, with the snow, wind, power outages, and influenza outbreaks…this wintery season is off to an eventful start and this is just the beginning…. if the last 3 weeks is any indication of how the winter will be then I guess I should brace myself and get ready…

today was an ok day, I have been up and out of bed, the pain detached itself just enough to give me some room to breathe…I’ll take it….the fatigue is not as heavy..no fog for now…again I’ll take what I can get…back to resting now…rest is the order of the day….and on a bad note I think I have a UTI…I‘ll let the initials speak for themselves, as I feel like they alone are TMI...thankfully I see my primary on Monday…we can add antibiotics to my running list of meds…I’m so over DOCTOR visits….but I’ll save that soapbox for another post…typing this one has exhausted me… have a holly jolly evening…until tomorrow…#stay triumphant

#weakened week end

pain is lower today, but still high…fatigue is overbearing…trying to stabilize my system after the terrible “storm surge” that I experienced on Wednesday….not fully certain as to what triggered such a horrible rush of pain, but I hope to never experience that again….continuing to take it easy and rest..for every one step forward I get pushed back 25 steps…psychologically feeling ok, not exactly high on life, but mentally content, trying to exercise a mindful spirit live in the moment, and remember that at the end of the storm comes a rainbow….here’s to a productive Friday for all of you and a pleasant weekend #stay triumphant