#foot in mouth syndrome

well folks..I am finally back in Nashville…it was nice to get away but there is no place like the place you call home…I am always dreading plane rides…they drag out into long arduous, exhausting all day ordeals…and with all the chronic issues I deal with… I am always thinking 5 steps ahead and how to prepare my mind and body for the agony that lies ahead…today’s return flight was no different…I actually am doing better with relaxing and accepting all that goes into a flight…. but my body is screaming in agony, pain, fire, fatigue, and just check all of the above…

but enough about that…what I really wanted to make this post about was an inciteful and thought provoking post that I read over at Decimawho.. who is from London and also lives the journey of chronic illness, Lyme Disease to be exact…this post entitled All in the Same Boat…really struck a chord with me…in a nutshell the post vents about the frustrations over friends, family, and other pain sufferers who make comments and say things like: look on the bright side, or we are all in the same boat, which on the surface seem small and are intended to help…. but actually do the opposite and make you feel more alone, more isolated, worse than you already feel…and for me downright piss you off…

no one person with a chronic illness is the same as the next, if you have met one person with a chronic disease… we are each unique and although we may share an empathic bond of sorts… you have met just that one person, our abilities and what we can do varies even with the same disease and our experiences are just that, our experiences….not to be shared, compared, or put up against another person…this post hit home for me because in their ignorance my family often makes small insidious comments that seem innocent on the outside… but for me take roots deep into my psyche and only make me feel worse about myself… for just today as I sat in the airport texting my family about my progress during the trip, I told one person that I have touched down safe…and that I was deeply fatigued and exhausted…now this comment was just to make conversation…I wasn’t complaining or trying to garner sympathy or even a reply… it was just a status update, nothing more, nothing less..the reply I got back was: You will be ok…. now I know my mood is often on a roller coaster and some days I cry at the drop of a hat and I am very sensitive to the world in general…but how does that comment read to you?… for me, it just struck a raw nerve…did the person really have to reply that way…my initial comment in no way implied that I was not ok, and of course, I know I will be ok

I live these diseases every waking second of everyday…fatigue and exhaustion are a part of my existence, just like breathing or blinking, I feel fatigue all the time…the comment was unnecessary and I replied in a acerbic way to let the person know that it was unnecessary….and not at all helpful…frankly, I am tired of letting these small, insidious types of comments slide…sick of making nice… grinning and bearing it…only to feel anger and heat welling up inside, making my body pulsate with pain even  worse than it already does…I call this foot in mouth syndrome, where people are trying to be kind or helpful or whatever they are trying to do…but the comments don’t go over well and do more harm than good…

well like Decimawho, I am taking no more… I am taking a stand to let people know that sometimes saying nothing at all is best…less is best… you do not always need to say anything and if you do, try to think about your comment before you utter it from your mouth….since once it comes out…there is no turning back…the damage is done.. and unlike a slap in the face…the sting of poor words spoken at the wrong time, does not go away….it can linger, suffocate, and hurt for days, weeks, months even…

thanks for reading and letting me vent, I know this is a long post but I have wanted to get it out all day, since I read Decimowho’s post and then fate made me experience just what they were expressing in the blog post….please do stop by Decimawho’s blog and follow their journey…we are all connected in this chronic world and learn from each other..how to deal one day at a time… have a blessed night….#stay triumphant


4 thoughts on “#foot in mouth syndrome

  1. Pingback: #on my Ipod: Insomnia | living with fibro blog

  2. yeah, it’s a crazy road which i myself don’t always understand. i had to laugh today. my left knee has really been hurting the last 3 days (rain here) and it was really bugging me and I got up and stubbed my right pinky toe on a dumbell and it hurt so bad that i forgot about my knee.

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