#sweet dreams & beautiful nightmares

blue_moon_by_chasing_dreams_350another week and weekend has come to an end…I can’t believe we are already half way through month one of 2013…for me, all the days and weeks kind of blur together…especially with me being home bound the majority of the time…I’ll keep this post positive even though my body isn’t feeling so…grateful that the sun made a return and that I was able to get out the house a few times this weekend…thankful for the roof over my head, my heat and hot water, and the ability to breathe…I hope every has a safe night, with peaceful dreams, and maybe a beautiful nightmare or (two)…praying for joy in the morning and no weeping for tonight….you (we) are more blessed than we know…goodnight #stay triumphant

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#in the dark

feeling worse tonight than I did this morning… pain and fatigue kept me in bed until 11 am….currently writhing in pain while I type in the dark…however, I did make it out of the lair today…bought a second hand bread machine from a trading post that I am part of on Facebook, a quick stop in the grocery store, and that pretty much did me in for the day….How was your day…hopefully productive and not as painful as mine…I think that’s all I have tonight…yea I think that’s it…my mind has gone blank…#goodnight #stay triumphant

#stuck in neutral

another Monday….another flare up…overbearing…fatigue…weakness…muscle spasms, nausea…I think that just about sums up my day….check down the list….this weekend was a bust and Saturday through today seemed to be one long omnipresent day…on a happier note my order of bound books finally arrived….these are the copies that I can give to friends and supporters….the paper back copies should be on the Amazon marketplace by the end of the week…HOORAY!…it all seems rather anticlimactic….here I have been anxiously awaiting the final production of my book…so excited to be redesigning the blog and now that everything is shaping up just as I had envisioned….I feel tired, listless, weakened…and kind of empty….like a car stuck in the gear….the motor is running, the engine is revving up, but the car just sits there…stuck like a bump on a log…the wheels spinning and spinning but the car is stuck in neutral….yes…. I guess that’s how I feel…I perpetually feel like I am stuck in neutral…always revving up my engine but never seem to be getting anywhere…just stuck in the same gear….wheels spinning…. going no where…..should I give up?….I guess I will stop my rambling and stop feeling sorry for myself…..positivity really is the best remedy…I hope everyone in the blogosphere had a marvelous Monday….keep positive no matter what life throws at you…remember it’s not a failure unless you quit….and never stop revving up your engine…good night #stay triumphant

#betterday

sun shining bright today and feeling better mentally. I am more mobile and feeling less pressed and less fog bearing down on my senses over all. Pain, and ache is still there and the throbbing, but from a mood perspective feeling more hopeful. So much so that I will venture a little Pilates this morning to stretch out my riddled body. I think I’ll be modest and not try to push to the whole 20 min but cut it in half to 10, pace not push is the word of the day. I just hope the floodgates don’t burst forth again since it is always bubbling under the surface… so insidious this monster is… waiting always watching stalking to hold me down… oh and my massaged has moved up from 5 to 4 PM….. looking forward to that bliss if only for 1 hour  #staytriumphant