#everything’s gonna be alright

the wrong side of the bed expression won’t cut it for today…I woke up feeling like I had slept on the floor….better yet on the pavement, outside, all night in the freezing rain…needless to say it wasn’t a great moment…but today was doctor appointment day so I was forced out of the lair…probably for the best..sunshine made a return and the vitamin D was much needed for all….at this point me and doctor visits are an exercise in futility…a necessary evil, that stresses out my system, makes me feel nauseous, sick to my stomach, shaky…despondent, angry…and all of the above…I’m so far over doctors that I don’t even have the vocabulary necessary to articulate…and that is no exaggeration…and so I won’t even try to articulate…what I will say is my day ended better than it began, mentally more so than anything…I was able to turn my attitude around…find positivity and carry forth…I guess that’s what it’s all about…physically I feel beat, worn, broken, maimed, tattered….but mentally I know that everything’s gonna be alright….and with that I’ll sign off…wishing, hoping and praying for strength tomorrow, sending positive vibes to everyone feeling like they want to give up on the world, please keep pushing on….in time everything will be alright….#good night…peace be with you #stay triumphant

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#terrific Thursday

go figure, I actually had a terrific day!… by far the best day in 3 and a half weeks…so I will take it….feeling a tad undone since I haven’t been able to walk since the pain surge hit me last week and now I am scared to shake up the body (yes, even a walk is a shake up in my world) OHHH…..must remember slow paces…slow measured paces… any how back to today, had my weekly session with my psychologist, rest, sunshine, and some work thrown in for good measure… I am dog tired and ready to hit the hay…I hope everyone had a productive and blessed day…I won’t hold my breath for Friday…but I will stay positive….good night…god bless #stay triumphant

#on my Ipod: Triumphant

this song Triumphant by the iconic Mariah Carey uplifts me and gives me the strength and courage to press on..especially on black days like today…although ill received by critics and casual listeners…these lyrics carry me through this painful journey

what hits home the most:”can’t fall down, for even when clouds surround you…and everyone seems to doubt you…baby still know who you are…see you gotta keep on climbing in spite of the chains that bind you you can see the mountain top it’s not to far…

it isn’t failure until you quit

 

#alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

the title of this post pretty much sums it up for me this morning…sorry for my lack of positivity….thankful to be able to gather enough strength and drag out of bed, and be able to feel my legs…..pain very severe today with near crippling fatigue…listening to my body and forgoing my walk…I guess that is mindful of me…maybe Pilates, if I can wrap my head around it…mind is heady and senses are dulled and heavy….feeling woeful that I was feeling relatively decent this week…and here it goes again…ok, NO! I won’t go to that place…I must remember…when I can do, Do…when I can’t, Don’t….it’s just that simple…how is everyone else doing today?…who else feels like Alexander, in one of my favorite children’s books?….dig in deep and try to push through that feeling…sending hugs and positive vibes your way…#Happy Thursday

#monday blues

feeling a little blue today

grey and white swirls surrounding me

magenta pain, purple haze

envelopes my mind

searing bleeding

can’t turn back the hands of time

green and yellow flowers wilt away

making room for gold, burnt orange, and violet hues

as much as I try I cannot eschew

the murky dark brown gloom

as it leads me down the path

and I fade back to black