# weekend end

hoping everyone had a safe and blessed weekend…my how the times flies..this is the last week of November…can you believe it?…continue to give thanks every single day and take nothing for granted…not your health, your ability to breathe, your freedom,  the ability to smell, taste food, live life…all of us can find at least one thing to be grateful for no matter how dire our situation may be..remember endurance works out faith and you will not be tested beyond what you can bear…wishing you a peaceful night…#stay triumphant



so I must admit, maintaining a positive attitude  does actually have some benefit. I may no longer be in control of a lot, but I can control what I dwell on and how much I think about my illness… tomorrow will be another blessed day… I will be productive and I will accomplish more than I did today… positivity all around…until tomorrow my friends…thank you for reading #keepthefaith

#fatigue monster /running record

this fatigue m0nster got a hold on me like the rapture…drunk with sleep,  fog, level 10 pain and level 12 fatigue, dizzy spells and weakness, muscle spasms and body tremors…this is the pay back I get for going out the house for two hours yesterday… someday I will get atleast two consecutive days. I will keep the faith


So I am soon to retire again, I guess its 12:26 AM a new day. I have lived to see another day and despite all the pain, fatigue, depressed feelings, languishing I am grateful to have lived another day. One day at a time is all we are promised, don’t know what tomorrow will bring but that’ss ok..

I was able to shower just now, the hot water helps to soothe my soul . I am massaged up with my “special fibro body oil reflecting on the day… I forgot to add I cried with a stranger today Laurie… she was so compassionate… I stopped to get lunch after my ordeals with the doctor’s , she looked at me and just said you look like you are not having a good day… I began to speak and the tears just began to flow…. I guess I had  been so numb in the doctors offices numb from the pain, the ache, the waiting. they were held up by the damnation of it all.sometimes doctors can lack that true compassion… all Laurie did is ask me how I was and she actually cared, genuinely looked into my eyes, saw the sadness and paid attention.

I am grateful for her care, she reached out and hugged me deep, and we both stood in public and cried. I must admit I felt a little foolish , I didn’t mean to make her cry.. But she was so nice, and said she would say a special prayer for me because she knows what incessant pain feels like, she is grateful for her job and to be able to do what she can…

Yes, it is the small things that count. She was my miracle for today, just that small gesture, her hug and her tears will remain with me tonight, tomorrow, and when I am in that inevitable bad place, that dark hole of endless ache, that woeful feeling of hopelessness and helplessness, I will remember Laurie who stopped and cried with me and find the strength to carry on, to live to see another day