#weekend warrior

this is my first post of the weekend…fortunately, I’ve been too busy out enjoying it for the first time in many months…what did I do to be blessed with four consecutive awesome days!…I don’t know but I am grateful and intend to pay it forward with a few good deeds…the weather has been flawless, my pain has been low and fatigue has taken more of a back seat supporting role as opposed to the lead…I got out, I walked, I caught the suns rays, I baked…visited friends…and it was all just lovely and awesome….the storm has broke, for just a little and we are a midst a gorgeous rainbow…but as I know I have not been “miraculously cured” and I haven’t forgotten that I have a chronic illness…I didn’t walk too close to the side walk and become immodest….I want this good streak to last just a little longer if it can and that means that not too far from the front of my existence is my acceptance of my limitations, pacing myself, and not going to crazy….I hope you too had low pain this weekend…the planets quite literally seem to be aligned..and there is something in the weather because it certainly does not feel like January…. as we go into the second week of 2013 I am happy to have started the year on a high note….I will remember this weekend…have a restful night…and as always # stay triumphant

#comments on Saturday

a visitor brought it to my attention that I had been remiss in responding to  a comment…I just want to let everyone know that if I haven’t responded to a comment it is certainly not intentional….I am so grateful for each person that visits and takes time to share a few thoughts on anything I write…between the fog, the second blog and sometimes just trying to keep afloat day to day , I may have overlooked a comment….I will make it my effort to pay closer attention…thank you again…I hope everyone is having a safe peaceful Saturday…so far my nausea is continuing….fatigue is high and I’m trying to wrap my brain around being mobile today…I’m saying a little prayer as I type…to push or not to push..is my daily conundrum….I hope you are doing better than myself…Happy Saturday

#modesty is the best policy

so during my late afternoon power walk…the.cold, brisk wind whipping past my face, I-pod in, I couldn’t help but feel like a warrior….for as much as this monster has taken from me it has not taken away my drive and determination…I am so grateful to just be able to walk and even though my mind tells me to run.and I feel like the power walk pace isn’t fast enough, isn’t good enough, isn’t strong enough, I had to tell myself to settle down..focus on this moment… what you can do, what you are doing right now at this moment in time…

I  now know my limits and I need to be content to stay within those limits…a wise old man helped me to think differently about my situation and he spoke these words to me…modesty is when you understand your limitations and are content to stay within those limits…as humans we mentally beat ourselves down about what we used to do, what we want to do..what we wish we could do..and even though having drive, determination, and high expectations are important motivators…we easily fall into the trap of beating ourselves up over what we can’t do…my need for perfection and obsession with more , faster, harder…has been a blessing and a curse…this drive to do more was the catalyst that I needed to lose 150 lbs and keep it off, put myself through college, and buy my first home at the age of 24….but it has also kept me up all night, lead me to harbor toxic feelings of worthlessness, and fueled deep dark thoughts of depression…

I have to constantly be mindful of my limitations and what I can’t do and sometimes it sucks…but understanding that limitations…when looked at from the right angle can help us live in the present and be at peace with ourselves and with a new set of circumstances…these were my thoughts as I walked… and I am now finally able to share them with you…today was a beautiful, sunny day and I was able to venture out of the house…now how good is that…I am now sore, exhausted, and overripe for bed..but I had to get these words to each of you before retiring…

don’t sell yourself short…remember, inch by inch it’s a cinch… and it isn’t failure until you quit..here’s to perseverance and modesty…peace and love tonight..so many things to pray for…#good night #stay triumphant

#another Tuesday

cold, dark and dreary Tuesday…I feel like the last few Tuesdays have looked like it looks out today…fatigue is high, pain is about the same..venturing out into the world today..pressing errands that I can’t put off any longer…sometimes I feel like I am becoming an agoraphobic, since these days I feel much more comfortable in my home, safe and sound from the hustle and bustle of the world…maybe this feeling is just an illusion…did not get to post last night…to busy working on my food blog...theglutenfreechef… thankful for living to see another day..for a roof over my head….and food in my pantry….how is your day so far…I wish everyone much productivity today….#stay triumphant

#thanks to everyone

the response to my blog over the last couple of days has been overwhelming…in a good way of course…I can’t even know what to say..for everyone who has stopped by my little old blog and read my words, posted a comment, followed me, or hit the like button on one of my posts I want to express my sincere thanks and gratitude…I started this blog as an outlet for my anxiety, stress, and frustration during my daily battle with chronic illness…I never thought so many of you would share this journey with me…my blog has received over 1,000 hits thus far..and in the process I have realized that my struggle and my journey is not solely my own…but the journey and struggle of each of you as well….thank you so much for joining me down this path…stay tuned for more exciting things on the horizon…now my only question is how do I determine who was the 1000th visitor to my site?…stay blessed and if it is sunny and pleasant where you are… enjoy the sunshine..I know I will…have a great day… #stay triumphant