#sweet dreams & beautiful nightmares

blue_moon_by_chasing_dreams_350another week and weekend has come to an end…I can’t believe we are already half way through month one of 2013…for me, all the days and weeks kind of blur together…especially with me being home bound the majority of the time…I’ll keep this post positive even though my body isn’t feeling so…grateful that the sun made a return and that I was able to get out the house a few times this weekend…thankful for the roof over my head, my heat and hot water, and the ability to breathe…I hope every has a safe night, with peaceful dreams, and maybe a beautiful nightmare or (two)…praying for joy in the morning and no weeping for tonight….you (we) are more blessed than we know…goodnight #stay triumphant

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#in the dark

feeling worse tonight than I did this morning… pain and fatigue kept me in bed until 11 am….currently writhing in pain while I type in the dark…however, I did make it out of the lair today…bought a second hand bread machine from a trading post that I am part of on Facebook, a quick stop in the grocery store, and that pretty much did me in for the day….How was your day…hopefully productive and not as painful as mine…I think that’s all I have tonight…yea I think that’s it…my mind has gone blank…#goodnight #stay triumphant

#everything’s gonna be alright

the wrong side of the bed expression won’t cut it for today…I woke up feeling like I had slept on the floor….better yet on the pavement, outside, all night in the freezing rain…needless to say it wasn’t a great moment…but today was doctor appointment day so I was forced out of the lair…probably for the best..sunshine made a return and the vitamin D was much needed for all….at this point me and doctor visits are an exercise in futility…a necessary evil, that stresses out my system, makes me feel nauseous, sick to my stomach, shaky…despondent, angry…and all of the above…I’m so far over doctors that I don’t even have the vocabulary necessary to articulate…and that is no exaggeration…and so I won’t even try to articulate…what I will say is my day ended better than it began, mentally more so than anything…I was able to turn my attitude around…find positivity and carry forth…I guess that’s what it’s all about…physically I feel beat, worn, broken, maimed, tattered….but mentally I know that everything’s gonna be alright….and with that I’ll sign off…wishing, hoping and praying for strength tomorrow, sending positive vibes to everyone feeling like they want to give up on the world, please keep pushing on….in time everything will be alright….#good night…peace be with you #stay triumphant

fatigue was back and overbearing today…completely enveloped my entire being, I literally spent the whole day until 9 pm in bed…the rain poured down all day…flash floods were called for most of the state…I was weak, lethargic,unable to move at some moments…need I go on….I think you get the picture….well that’s about all I can muster up tonight….brain is foggy and senses are delayed…praying for a productive week…wishing you all a restful night…. # stay triumphant

#where did the week go?

Boy time certainly slips away…I have been remiss in posting regularly this week… between mini flare ups, resting, naps, publishing my book and setting up the blog redesign…my tokens of energy were diced and spliced between many activities…for the most part, this week was OK…the fatigue and pain monster were back in full swing again and pacing and resting were the order of every day… it never ceases to amaze me how every little thing we do requires energy….typing, walking, breathing, placing a phone call, writing a letter…everything….I have a much better appreciation for the ability to just live since what I do and how I do it is on the forefront of my brain at every waking second… brain fog and stifled concentration were high this week as well, my inability to concentrate….and delayed processing time made tasks like typing emails drag out longer than they needed…by the time it came time for my daily post, I was so mentally fatigued and drained that typing was just too much to bear….I have so many irons in the fire that it is becoming hard to keep track…much gratitude for all the support and encouragement that I receive from you the readers…I hope everyone is having a restful yet productive weekend…the weather in my neck of the woods has certainly lent itself to productivity….70 degrees just doesn’t feel right in January…I guess that is the upstate New Yorker in me…keep on pressing on and #stay triumphant

 

#where did the week go?

Boy time certainly slips away…I have been remiss in posting regularly this week… between mini flare ups, resting, naps, publishing my book and setting up the blog redesign…my tokens of energy were diced and spliced between many activities…for the most part, this week was OK…the fatigue and pain monster were back in full swing again and pacing and resting were the order of every day… it never ceases to amaze me how every little thing we do requires energy….typing, walking, breathing, placing a phone call, writing a letter…everything….I have a much better appreciation for the ability to just live since what I do and how I do it is on the forefront of my brain at every waking second… brain fog and stifled concentration were high this week as well, my inability to concentrate….and delayed processing time made tasks like typing emails drag out longer than they needed…by the time it came time for my daily post, I was so mentally fatigued and drained that typing was just too much to bear….I have so many irons in the fire that it is becoming hard to keep track…much gratitude for all the support and encouragement that I receive from you the readers…I hope everyone is having a restful yet productive weekend…the weather in my neck of the woods has certainly lent itself to productivity….70 degrees just doesn’t feel right in January…I guess that is the upstate New Yorker in me…keep on pressing on and #stay triumphant

 

#weekend warrior

this is my first post of the weekend…fortunately, I’ve been too busy out enjoying it for the first time in many months…what did I do to be blessed with four consecutive awesome days!…I don’t know but I am grateful and intend to pay it forward with a few good deeds…the weather has been flawless, my pain has been low and fatigue has taken more of a back seat supporting role as opposed to the lead…I got out, I walked, I caught the suns rays, I baked…visited friends…and it was all just lovely and awesome….the storm has broke, for just a little and we are a midst a gorgeous rainbow…but as I know I have not been “miraculously cured” and I haven’t forgotten that I have a chronic illness…I didn’t walk too close to the side walk and become immodest….I want this good streak to last just a little longer if it can and that means that not too far from the front of my existence is my acceptance of my limitations, pacing myself, and not going to crazy….I hope you too had low pain this weekend…the planets quite literally seem to be aligned..and there is something in the weather because it certainly does not feel like January…. as we go into the second week of 2013 I am happy to have started the year on a high note….I will remember this weekend…have a restful night…and as always # stay triumphant